I am so fixated on this thought that maybe if I become this perfect girl you would notice me, and I don’t know why I feel this way because I know it’s stupid, and I know that you wouldn’t be worth my time if the only way you wanted me was because I changed. But there is just this thought in my head that if I lose weight and grow my hair out and dress cuter and more girly that you will care. I’m crazy.

It’s late and I can’t sleep as usual.